We heard a lot of 'friends with benefits' or 'no strings attached' kind of relationships, also 'ex boyfie/friend' term nowadays. Somehow this topic attracted me, not to mention my friends often asked me about it. What?, they think I'm such an expertise in this field?. Me, personally I really don't think so. It's funny how to people who decided to separate from a relationship that's bound by love, intentionally or not, meet again and find a new connection to start a friendship. It's kinda cool yet awkward for me, because I've never seen being friends with ex boyfriends as a choice after the breakups. Well, I did it once simply because we were friends before. Until months ago, I said hi to one of my ex boyfie, on FACEBOOK. Yeah yeah, I know it's friggin lame. Actually I was making fun of him. He updated his status and I left a comment below, surprisingly, he replied it.
I was astonished that finally we can speak to each other. What happened between us, years ago when I thought that all we had was just sort of puppy love didn't end in a good way. So when it's over, we didn't talk much ever since. We've tried....no, I HAVE tried to say hello and be nice with him but it seems that it's close to the word impossible. Not for me, but maybe for him. I also don't understand why he completely stopped talking to me. I try to understand that maybe it's not the right time and there may be certain process that we have to go through or the big possibility of all, he has a BIG hole in his chest(d'oh..it's been years though). Nina, if you ever read this, you'll know exactly what I mean and who I'm talking about. I'll let you have the pleasure of Laughagasm.
Moments ago, I was making cream puffs. I realized it was too many cream puffs even for the people in my house. I thought something fun to start the weekend and I ended up with a message to my ex boyfie, asked him to come to my place. Surprise!, HE CAME,fellas. I didn't hope much for that, just because I don't know what to do to avoid the awkwardness that could happen between us. There he was, I noticed his different look. Hey Aya, everyone's grown up and yeah I kinda forgot about that. In an hour I found myself trying to get to know him as he is, not he was. We talked much after all these years and long long silence with
cream puffs and hot tea.
What I get from our meeting that day, he surprised by how I became and whom I am today. He often asked, often stared to think about the fact that I explained to him, lots and lots wondering. It took 5 years to make amends for everything. I found what I love, I can cook, I can listen to the music he likes and read the books he recommended back then, I can understand his point of view on things. I used to give a damn for all those things. People made mistakes, not to mention we were in high school. He asked me who inspired me to change, when and how I could be such this person, this Aya he's seeing. I told him in a subtle way that I was struggled to be who I am, that I have to be young and stupid so I can be old and wise. I saw the same thing happened to him. At some point I realized we both changed and grown. It's not impossible we also become a good friend from now on. He knew who I was and who I am, vice versa. After all, a very good thing that he's not judgemental.
Will it be back to be love?, I will definitely say no. Just as a marriage ended in divorce and then decided to make friends with your ex-spouse, the same question arises. If you have ever been, so why to start over again?. We have failed, once..when we were so thirsty with what the youth offered to us. We both consciously and clearly agreed to end the relationship. Now we're pursuing each other's future without wanting to repeat the failure. Without wanting to ruin what we have redeemed with 5 years being overlooked. I won't say our bond was fragile and not strong enough back then, even it was. We didn't defend each other yet never tried to give up until time asking us to remove it all. Regret? absolutely not. We have learned from what we've got. We didn't go through the process to analyze our mistakes but we managed to redeem and simply, forgiving. I saw a good example of this kind of relationship lately. Compatibility of two people don't have to involve love and romance. It's cool, good and mutual. Good chemistry may lead you to love, but to be such a dynamic duo, well..you.don't have.to be.in.love. Sometimes having your ex boyfriends or girlfriends, your loved ones or someone you admires is more than good. Sometimes you just have to understand the way or the-why-factor when it doesn't work in a relationship. Cheers !
0 comments:
Posting Komentar